The commitment.

This is the fourth blog I have opened. This is the first time I haven’t closed it moments later, so that’s a positive sign, I guess, and yet…

For about three months now I have logged in several times with adderall inspired strokes of wit and a go-getter attitude, but then, just as its all about gush-the taunting glow of the screen hits me.  Before I know it I’m dazed, frozen on the enter key; I stare determined, the words stare back with intensity, the determination fades and I lose it.  My eyes start to dart back and forth…ahhhh, there it is, the glorious red of “Cancel” “Cancel” “Cancel”!! The once inviting, green of “Create post” now triggers an unstoppable panic…

something like this:

ME: shit. shit. shit.

MY RATIONAL: do it you dumb dumb…always with the drama. 

MY IRRATIONAL: b-b-b-but you’ll be exposed!!

ME: shiiiiiiitttt.

MY RATIONAL: do it, do it, do it…

MY IRRATIONAL: it’s not time!

My finger glide over the mouse, and just like that another blog bites the dust. Harumph.

But No More! This is the commitment.